Most people go through times when they have trouble getting their thoughts to align with their intentions. When that happens, it can hinder being aware and happy in your NOW. Your Mental Plane can get in the way of your happiness because these types of self-talk thoughts are focusing on what’s wrong, what’s missing, or the negativity of the situation instead of the positives. Here are the big favorites:
- I Don’t Like People — Many people, especially introverts, tend to focus their decisions on how many people will be around. They tend to make decisions that are not good because they are not comfortable being who they are. Turn that Mental Plane self-talk around to doing events but focusing on how you can give yourself care during anxious moments around people. It’s okay to be who you are and love being in the NOW.
- I Am Too ____ — Anytime you start a thought with, I am “too” anything you get into trouble. People often worry about things that no one else ever thinks about although sometimes one might worry about things that other people do think about. For example, if you find yourself saying you’re too fat, too dumb, too something — to accomplish a goal that you have you need to turn that around to setting up real positive steps that will get you to your goals.
- I’ll Do That When I ______ — You’ve probably said it before to yourself. “I’ll do that when I go back to school.” “I’ll do that when I clean the house.” “I’ll do that when I lose weight.” You know the drill. Unless you need to do the thing in the blank, don’t allow that to get in your way. If you do need to do it, just make a step-by-step plan to get it done. You have the power within.
- I Can’t Do _____ — You may have heard your child, or yourself, or someone else state that “I can’t do math.” Or “I can’t cook.” The truth is, no one can do any of that without learning how to do it. No one just pops out of the womb knowing how to cook, write, read, or do math. Anyone can learn whatever they want to learn given the time and effort to do it. You have the power to do whatever you want.
- Saying I Should ____ — Have you ever heard that it’s important not to “should” all over everyone? Not only is it a bad idea to create “should” for others it’s a terrible idea to create them for yourself.
- In the Past ___ — Dwelling on the past and what someone did to you in the past or what things were like in the past is not going to help you overcome negative self-talk. While it’s okay to use the past as a learning example, it’s not okay to use it as an excuse not to move forward. Your past brought you here, NOW. Remember you are only in charge of yourself, and the NOW is all you have. How you use this moment, while you are in it, is all that matters.
- In the Future ____ — Just like you do not want to focus on the past you also don’t want to be overly focused on the future. Today, this NOW, is honestly all you have. Focus on today and tomorrow will take care of itself.
- If I Was More Like Them — Never compare yourself to someone else in a negative way. It’s okay to look at what someone has accomplished, learn how to do it too, and follow their footsteps but don’t wish yourself away. Only you can be you and only you can share your unique gifts with the world.
Whenever you find you’re focused on a negative aspect of any situation, try to turn your Mental Plane self-talk around to focus on the positives. Sometimes in life, you’re going to experience a sad or negative time. That’s normal. It really is not about the ups and downs of life. Those are natural. That’s the journey! It’s about how you retreat within to know yourself well enough to choose the positives most of the time. That’s what I call LIVING IN THE NOW and that truly leads to more happiness.