It’s pretty easy to celebrate and complement the people around us. We acknowledge their success and congratulate them on their achievements, however small. February is our month to look in the mirror and speak to ourselves about our amazing personhood. Yes, YOU are amazing!
Look closely and see the rainbow!
Self-Validation, Not Pride
Everyone needs to be accepted, to be praised. You’re not always going to hear praise or get credit due from others, so it is important that you know how to validate yourself. See a rainbow!
Patting yourself on the back a little bit is good for you! Self-care awareness shows you that you must appreciate yourself before others can appreciate you. Treating yourself well and privately recognizing your accomplishments is self-validation, not pride.
External validation is just that-looking outside of your true self. So many depend on external validation and when they don’t hear it, they experience anxiety or depression and that can eat away at self-worth.
External validation expectations can cause you to doubt your abilities if someone does not tell you that you’re doing well. Often, a simple thank you isn’t even offered, and feelings can be hurt. With external validation, you constantly need others’ approval in order to feel valued. It is important that you spend self-care time knowing who you are, knowing what your gifts and talents are, and expressing what your purpose is on this journey called LIFE. You feed your own soul.
How do you learn to self-validate, to appreciate and respect yourself?
Tips for Self-Validation
- Notice how you feel and acknowledge what you need. An example of this would be you feel angry and realize that you need some alone time.
- Know that feelings of anger are alright. Accept your feelings without making a judgment of yourself. Realize that in the same situation, others would feel anger as well, and look at your optional responses for that new NOW you have chosen to live in.
- Accept your feelings. Don’t let your feelings rule you. Remember that what you feel does not define you. Retreat within time helps you keep your NOW in perspective.
- Put your needs in order. During self-care retreat within time, you will learn to take care of the most important needs first and possibly forget needs that you thought mattered but NOW no longer do.
- Treat yourself with kindness. Honor your emotions. Grant yourself the respect and understanding that you would extend to a friend. Master your Mental Plane self-talk and know your inner power source will be all you need to make wise choices in your new NOW. You are not defined by anything or anyone outside.
As you learn the art of self-validation, you will better understand how others see you. You will know what makes you valuable and what you can do to make your value more appreciated by the people around you. You will find that the more internal validation you have, the more external validation will naturally come to you. Find the rainbow!
How to Know You Genuinely Value and Respect Yourself
- When you receive a compliment, you accept it graciously, knowing that it is well deserved.
- Realize that negative feedback or statements don’t change the way you feel about yourself. Don’t get emotional or upset, but instead thank the person for sharing their views with you. Think about what they had to say and be honest with any truth you may surface.
- Know that you can say no to others without feeling guilty. Putting self-care first shows that time is on your side. You can be yourself and realize that guilt can harm you more emotionally than just saying no when it’s time to say no.
- When you make a mistake, admit it to yourself and forgive yourself. You know that everyone makes mistakes and in this context, you can learn and move on.
- Your endless Mental Plane self-talk with that voice in your head NOW speaks with more understanding and is less critical of your Physical Plane actions.
- You have more self-control because your self-care time supports decisions being made in the NOW. You know how to control your emotions and you radiate self-confidence and wisdom from within.
Being confident and creating your own self-respect from within is an ongoing process. Only you can perform this inner change in yourself. Once you have self-care validation of the person you are within, you must practice it every day. You will understand having empathy for others because you NOW realize that no one is perfect. You are able to take responsibility for creating happiness in your new NOW and if something goes wrong you will see it from a perspective that will create positive emotions. Take extraordinarily good care of yourself first, you awesome person. It’s the secret to making each day your best!
See you in the Champions’ private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/LivingInTheNowChampions