Self-Care Can Help You Open Up Again

6-minute read

All of us have run into times when we were hurt or felt like someone took advantage of us. And as we get older, we naturally become more selective about the people we talk with and the information we share, putting up a guard to protect ourselves. However, when we become too guarded, we can refuse to let anyone into our lives again, preventing us from experiencing true love and connection.

Being too guarded can harm our relationships in many ways. When we are guarded, we will take normal situations and overthink them or assume that there is something wrong with having them in our relationship. Here are five signs that you are too guarded:

You swallow all your emotions:

You decide to push all of your emotions down and never bring them up because you are desperate for things to be different from the last time. While this may sound like a great idea, pushing the emotions down will just make them explode worse than before. Instead, practicing self-care by acknowledging and processing your emotions can help you to communicate effectively and build stronger relationships.

You have trouble with intimacy:

When someone tries to be intimate with you, you decide to play it off as a joke to protect yourself. However, this can end up hurting the other person, which is not a good thing either. Practicing self-care by learning to be vulnerable and open with your partner can help you build deeper intimacy and connection in your relationships.

You are very critical:

You may try to play things off as cool to avoid talking about your emotions, but this can come across as critical and push people away. Practicing self-care by learning to communicate constructively and positively can help you to build healthier relationships.

Your personality is intense: You may try to show off how amazing you are, even when you feel down in the dumps. However, this can often be overdone, and most people can see right through it. Instead, practicing self-care by being your true self can help you to attract people who appreciate you for who you are.

You see commitment as an ultimatum: If the other person wants you to commit, it can feel like a bad thing, even though most would see it as a good thing. People who are guarded see this as a big ultimatum, rather than a great milestone that should be next in a relationship. However, practicing self-care by staying present in the moment can help you to focus on the joys of your relationship rather than worrying about the future.

When you exhibit several of these signs or more, it is a red flag that you are pushing people away and need to look at a new approach. If you have been hurt in the past, it is normal to put these walls up to provide yourself with some protection, but it is time to recognize the signs and bring them down if you want to experience true love again.

Taking care of yourself first by acknowledging and processing your emotions, being vulnerable and open, communicating constructively, being your true self, and staying present in the moment can help you to break down your guard and build stronger, healthier relationships.

Stay happy in the moment you are in where your NOW is perfect. Don’t miss another moment of your extraordinarily perfect life by being too guarded. Take care of yourself first, and the rest will follow.